Robby L.

My friends call me, Robby. You may see my handle on the Internet as "Pot_Head." (You can guess where that name came from!) When I was ten, I saw my first porn movie on Cinemax. I thought it was sooo cool! My best friend and I found magazines like Playboy, Penthouse, and Hustler. We would trade them like baseball cards. 

At the age of fifteen, I started drinking. It was great. I could forget all my problems with just a bottle of vodka. By that time I felt I was gay and a drunk. My sister told me to get some sex with a female and I would no longer be gay. So, when I was sixteen, I did. So, at that time I saw myself as a bisexual. About then, my grandmother died, and I turned to drugs and even more pornography and as much sex as I could get. I hated God and hated myself. I wanted to die and tried killing myself 5 times.

One day a friend asked me if I wanted to go to the Fellowship of Christian Athletes (FCA). I was high and didn't want to go to any kind of church. He told me there would be food there; and so I went. I would go every week just to eat. One week, right after New Years, I went and heard a cop speak about sin and Jesus Christ. He told about Jesus’ death and why He died, and about how we could find peace and love in Him. He spoke about why God cared so much about ME. And I couldn't take it anymore. I ran out of that building and fell on my face before God and asked Him to save me of my sin. Well, needless to say He did. But I was still a sinner doing a whole lot of sinful things.

One night I was looking for porn on the Internet. I stumbled across a website called "PPS" (Porn Prayer Support), which later became Battle Plan Ministry [BPM].  So I checked it out. I thought maybe there might be some good stuff in there. Well, I looked at one thing after another and found all stuff about how sexual sin affected me … and … about what was wrong and what was right. Well, I went to the link that showed me a message board with Christian men coming to help each other walk free from sexual sin. For the first time in my life, I came clean about what was wrong in my life. I was scared to admit all that stuff. But hey, a guy named Bill Berry and some other dudes on that forum helped me; and they never gave up on me. 

After awhile, I started to grow little by little. I learned more and more. And as I soaked it up, I soon stopped going to porn sites; and I started spending my time on the net in the BPM message boards. I read and got help from the resources on the Battle Plan website. I fought against sin, but I still lost some of the battles along the way. Soon, though, I quit drinking and doing hard drugs; and I quit smoking pot and I began to look at sex differently; and I even joined the Marines. 

God showed me in His word all about my actions and how they hurt people and families way beyond myself;  and how it was disrespectful to my mother and how I needed to change my life to better fit Christ's image. I would go to the BPM message boards every day, posting my falls and my victories. The falls became fewer and fewer; and my victories were more and more. Today, by the power of ALMIGHTY GOD, working through Battle Plan Ministry, I am free of this pattern of sin which I believe to be a crime against God; and I praise Him that He is building me in His image.